“Ugly” is the prompt in the Love Your Blog Challenge from A Playful Day this week. I’ve been trying to think about what to write about. Kate talked about how identifying with your blog, other bloggers, and yourself as the author of a blog, can sometimes be tough. She wrote a great post on how to deal with it, which deserves a read if you want to check it out.
I wanted to make all these posts about how the prompts related to my blogging. This is where I ran into trouble, went off at a bit of a tangent, and ended up with the thoughts you see below. Enjoy!
The Beautiful Ugly
For me, ugly is not a word I associate with blogging, really. Through my degree and the turmoil that is figuring out what to do with my life, blogging has been the activity I have kept to most loyally, has given me the most joy. Sure, there have been a few months where I haven’t felt able to keep up with a blog, but over the past decade I have become well acquainted with the idea that if I want to enjoy the blog I keep, I have to do things and therefore write about things that I enjoy doing, or enjoy thinking about.
It’s essentially a public diary; yes, I want it to be useful to other people, but I have to be motivated to do it because I enjoy it, and I do. I don’t often feel that my blogging isn’t good enough – I’m good at comparing it to my own wishes, and deciding it comes out OK. I’m even shocked with how my blog posts make me feel good, to be honest. I’m always a little surprised that coherent words can come out of my often messy brain in a way that other people understand and – gasp – seem to enjoy.
I wish I could say I feel the same confidence about how I see crafting, and even more than this, the world that I create around me. There have been so many occasions where I have crafted something with the perfect image of what I want it to look like, to be, to feel like, in my head. At this very moment I’ve got some Converse shoes drying in the sun, which I have spent the last week revamping (a tutorial will come shortly). They don’t look, feel or even come close to what I imagined, and in my mind this makes them ugly, makes me an awful crafter, and I judge myself against that impossible pedestal of imperfection.
I knitted a baby jumper last week which I hate the look of, and if I had time I would rip it out. I have knitted hats which I have hated because the colour has not come out as I have wanted it to. My drawings get consigned to cupboards for months at a time because I can’t stand the sight of them. I have dabbled in needle felting, wet felting, card making, sewing, soap making…and all of them have fallen short of my expectations.
I really hated the way this hat came out.
Yet, it is important to remember that this is all about perception. The same baby jumper shown to a number of people – including family of the intended wearer – think it is absolutely stunning. The hats I have hated no longer live with me – because other people who think they are beautiful have been presented with them to take home. I always come back to drawing eventually because the people around me ask to see what I’ve done, think they’re great. I have never given up on a craft completely because of the ugliness I have seen in the results.
Meanwhile, I have items that I adore that other people would describe as ugly. I wear my favourite pair of dungarees, which are pretty much perfect aside from a massive hole in the thigh, all the time. Every time I wear them, I get told they are awful, that the hole makes them rubbish, that they need getting rid of, but I think they are beautiful.
The Zigzag Jumper which I knitted last year is done in garish green, pink and cream, and some people joke that they need sunglasses to see me in it. The zigzags don’t suit my body shape and the yarn is not a luxury brand; a lot of people have issues with it. It’s one of my favourite items of clothing.
The Zigzag Jumper from the front!
My cat, which a judge at a cat show would call ugly, has got white hairs all over her body in places where she should ‘just’ be black, as a tuxedo cat (I mean, technically she’s a moggy so all bets are off, but still). If you’ve been following me for any length of time (i.e. about a day), you’ll know how big a part this smelly, loud, furry and badly behaved creature plays in my day-to-day life, and how much joy I get out of her.
We have a mask in our flat that John made, which I think looks less than beautiful – but the love and affection that I have for that object, which a ‘non-crafter’ crafted means that I cannot look on it as anything other than a precious object.
Does this mean that these are ugly things that I just happen to like? That someone is ‘wrong’ for liking a colour combination that I don’t? That the physical appearance of, for example, a child’s first drawing, makes it worthless?
What is ugly? Is it really a thing, or is it just about how expectations measure up to impossible standards? I’ll be thinking about that a bit more, and hopefully these thoughts will help me to feel more positive about my crafting and the world I live in. After all, who says ‘perfection’ isn’t ‘ugly’?
Much love,
Corrie xx
“If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it could be a really ugly swan.” – Timmothy Radman
I had the “ugliest” teddy bear when I was a child. I think it was supposed to be a koala, but it was not such an attractive fellow. But I loved it – and it certainly wasn’t ugly to me – I totally get what you’re saying! And, I love that ugly swan quote.
Oh good, it’s not just me! I loved my childhood ‘teddy’ too – it was a pink rabbit that I had until I was about 9 and sold in a car boot sale. I’ve never forgiven myself! I’m not actually sure who Timmothy Radman is, Google isn’t very forthcoming on information…but he’s been quoted a few times, so hopefully that’s OK :) If he doesn’t want to ‘fess up to the quote, I’ll steal it ;)
Ugly… it’s a wide topic, sometimes it turn into a trend and sometimes it’s just a way to keep myself on edge to practice and get better. Your jumper is great I love it.
I think your jumper looks great and I enjoyed reading your musings on ugliness. Ugliness certainly seems to be in the eye of the beholder – if it even exists at all…Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for linking up with Wool on Sundays :)
We are always harder on ourselves……I love the colors in your jumper/sweater. I personally wouldn’t wear the stripes that way, but I would wear the colors….I’m not sure what a moggy is….but I enjoy hearing about your cat…and I agree with everyone…awesome quote…
What a great post and I loved the zigzag jumper. People have so many different tastes and styles. I remember seeing finished FO pics on ravelry and I’d wonder why a certain project hasn’t got more likes because I would have loved the colors used and the mods made to it. But then again, I tend to go for “boring” pastels and light shades that a lot of people might find dull. But hey, that’s what I like:)
I think it’s so important to remember that, especially when in conversation with other people! Thank you so much for the comment, it’s great to see other points of view.
And I don’t necessarily go for pastels, but I can appreciate their beauty and use in certain situations where I wouldn’t use my neons…
This was such a wonderful post to read (and what, I LOVE that zig zag jumper!) and I really understand your interpretation of ‘ugly’ – I often start out knitting or crocheting something with SUCH a specific idea in mind, and if it doesn’t turn out exactly so, then I see it as ugly (recently happened with a jumper and my dad and BF begged me not to unravel it, but I did and made something MUCH nicer to my eye :)) really splendid post, you keep it up :D jenny xx
I found the “ugly” topic really difficult. You’re totally right, ugly as an aesthetic concept is entirely subjective, and ugliness itself doesn’t mean we can’t love a thing!
Corrie's blog about fibre crafts, followed by whatever other creative pursuits take my fancy. A healthy source of fibre! Originally inspired by Pluto and Canadian Muffins.
I had the “ugliest” teddy bear when I was a child. I think it was supposed to be a koala, but it was not such an attractive fellow. But I loved it – and it certainly wasn’t ugly to me – I totally get what you’re saying! And, I love that ugly swan quote.
Oh good, it’s not just me! I loved my childhood ‘teddy’ too – it was a pink rabbit that I had until I was about 9 and sold in a car boot sale. I’ve never forgiven myself! I’m not actually sure who Timmothy Radman is, Google isn’t very forthcoming on information…but he’s been quoted a few times, so hopefully that’s OK :) If he doesn’t want to ‘fess up to the quote, I’ll steal it ;)
Ugly… it’s a wide topic, sometimes it turn into a trend and sometimes it’s just a way to keep myself on edge to practice and get better. Your jumper is great I love it.
Thank you! I love that idea of practising and getting better, what a fabulous philosophy. I might have to do some inspirational artwork for myself…
Brilliant post – I love the Timothy Radman quote. And I like the jumper too :)
Thanks Louise! <3
I think your jumper looks great and I enjoyed reading your musings on ugliness. Ugliness certainly seems to be in the eye of the beholder – if it even exists at all…Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for linking up with Wool on Sundays :)
Thank YOU for a great link up! Oops I was going to edit this post and put the button in, but I forgot. I’ll do that now.
Thanks for the compliment on the jumper, I do love it <3
We are always harder on ourselves……I love the colors in your jumper/sweater. I personally wouldn’t wear the stripes that way, but I would wear the colors….I’m not sure what a moggy is….but I enjoy hearing about your cat…and I agree with everyone…awesome quote…
Thank you! Moggy is like, mongrel – not a pedigree cat, just an all sorts…but I prefer her that way :)
Great post!! I love your sweater btw.
Thank you so much Angela! The people who think it is ugly don’t appreciate a good, neon thing when they see it :)
What a great post and I loved the zigzag jumper. People have so many different tastes and styles. I remember seeing finished FO pics on ravelry and I’d wonder why a certain project hasn’t got more likes because I would have loved the colors used and the mods made to it. But then again, I tend to go for “boring” pastels and light shades that a lot of people might find dull. But hey, that’s what I like:)
I think it’s so important to remember that, especially when in conversation with other people! Thank you so much for the comment, it’s great to see other points of view.
And I don’t necessarily go for pastels, but I can appreciate their beauty and use in certain situations where I wouldn’t use my neons…
I love your colourful jumper love reading about your cat. We all have different opinions choices about ugly anyway, so glad are not all the same.
That’s also true! It takes all sorts <3
This was such a wonderful post to read (and what, I LOVE that zig zag jumper!) and I really understand your interpretation of ‘ugly’ – I often start out knitting or crocheting something with SUCH a specific idea in mind, and if it doesn’t turn out exactly so, then I see it as ugly (recently happened with a jumper and my dad and BF begged me not to unravel it, but I did and made something MUCH nicer to my eye :)) really splendid post, you keep it up :D jenny xx
Thank you so much on all the compliments! They don’t understand it, but we know ourselves best, right? :) xx
I found the “ugly” topic really difficult. You’re totally right, ugly as an aesthetic concept is entirely subjective, and ugliness itself doesn’t mean we can’t love a thing!
It was hard! I found it unbelievable how hard it was to apply a word I hardly ever use to my blogging, it’s so interesting. What a wonderful prompt :)